Posted by: ahmedashfaque | June 8, 2014

Shed your inhibitions

Many people in this world find themselves in a spot. They are not able to speak up for themselves. They get abused, harassed or do not get their dues in life even though they work hard, get achievements and do wonderful things in life. But their achievements are not talked about and they do not get their due for those achievements. Why?

Because they are shy. They do not talk about their achievements to their bosses, and to their colleagues. In any office or work place, there are large number of people who are over smart and try to take credit for work done by some other people. They are good in talking and keeping good rapport with their bosses. In any work place, bosses are not able to judge correctly as to which person has done how much of work. If somebody is in good books of a boss and he/she is able to convince the boss that he/she has been doing all the hard work bosses tend to believe this story. The real hard worker does not get credit for the work and this results in lot of heart burns. This is true in most places i have worked.

I myself used to be a shy person. I would do all the hard work but would never speak up. This always resulted in somebody close to my boss getting all the credit and I would left with heart burns. The other person used to get all the raise and i would not get enough raise.

I realized this but I never had the courage to speak up. I would sulk alone and felt helpless. This happened with me for first 9 years of my career.

One day I was supposed to catch a train to visit my supplier. On the train i met a passenger who had the most unusual habit of extracting tobacco filled in cigarettes and chewing it. This observation made me extremely curious and I asked him about this habit. The person turned out to be a very entertaining and talkative person. On the entire journey he kept me entertained by telling his interesting experiences in life. He also learned that i had a problem of communication. He asked me, what makes me a shy person. I told him that i am afraid of speaking in front of people. I told him that I feel, if I made any mistake during any conversation then I will become a laughing stock for people gathered over there. This is the biggest worry i have, I told him. He then told me a story which changed my life forever.

This person used to be a very shy person in his earlier days. He faced bad times due to his inability to speak up. To overcome his grief, he became an alcoholic. Due to heavy consumption of alcohol, his liver got damaged. he was hospitalized. His life was saved thanks to a brilliant doctor in the hospital who successfully treated him. When he was finally discharged from hospital, he started thinking. Finally he made a resolution. He quit drinks. He gathered all his courage and shed his inhibitions. He was no more a shy guy. He started speaking up. He also started defending other shy people at his work who were forced to to all the work but would not get their due in return. He became a hero. His life got changed  forever.

He told me if you can not speak up, you are doing injustice not only to yourself but to others as well. The bully at work place is also harming other people who are shy like you. the bully get strength from the fact that you are not speaking up. Once you start speaking up then he may not be able to bully other people like you as well.

That train journey and meeting up this gentleman has changed my life. i am no more the same shy person. Now i can speak up. Now I can defend not only myself but others as well.



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